We’ve enjoyed some great articles from our newest guest columnist, Michelle Carter.  But it seems she’s not without her detractors.

An anonymous reader, who provided the email address blankname1000@yahoo.com and neglected to sign his/her remarks, left this comment for Ms. Carter: 

Great Michelle! Bravo as well. So I guess you missed the CE class where Debbie Orecki told us that even though you are a Funeral Director licensed by New York State, YOU CANNOT DO FUNERALS WITHOUT A BUSINESS REGISTRATION. Wait, sorry, I forgot you are only licensed since 2006. Let’s forget your stupidity for a minute and that you actually posted this information on the net that you operate sans registration, lets focus more on the idiot that rents a chapel to you AND assumes the liablity of your actions by putting his business’s name and registration number on a death certificate. Sweety, wait till you screw up one day with a family and they wanna make a complaint. Better yet, explain to this man’s insurance carrier who the hell you are when you go for a deposition at their lawyers office. Explain to Ms. Orecki that you offered them a laughing stick and see what she says, but let me know after the tears dry ok? Perhaps a freelance entrepreneur like this is the reason not only the volume is down with the so called “legitamate” funeral homes (oxymoron) and the genius funeral braintrust out there such as MFDA and NFDA can’t understand why, but thats also why Paul has to scramble around to find a cheap casket manufacturer and keep his vendors that has put up with this guy’s whims and idisyncrasies for years “honest”. Of course “honest” translates into “how cheap can you do it for” and that ranges from your trade embalmer to your livery man , right down to you buying tissues for the funeral home in wal mart.
So I guess by not giving a family a GPL, Statement of Goods and Services Selected, and Customer’s Designation of Intentions Form, thats doing them a service huh???? And you give them your cell phone number to call them in the middle of the night???? So if it goes to voice mail instead of an answering service and the body is in a house thats easing their comfort too huh??? Don’t you find it just a little embarassing to ask whoever front’s you the following: “I have a call, do you mind if I use the registration for the death certificate?” . Better yet, if a family refers someone to you (which aint happening), isn’t it a nice feeling when they hand someone who dosent know you your business card that you had made at Staples with your pager # attached to it? Actually, I shouldn’t make as much out of this as I have, you aren’t good for more than 3 calls anyway. I laugh how you have the same last name as another Funeral Home in the area where you operate. You wouldn’t be capitolizing on that especially because that said firm is a corporate affiliate would you?? Tsk Tsk Michelle. Not a good example.
Time to call Bakers Pride and price equipment for turning chapel A into a pizzeria and forget parasites and their crap like this.
Thomas Lynch, another beauty, happens to be right about associations keeping quiet. They are useless. Beyond useless to be honest. They keep quiet about Georgia and the whole Joe Nicelli thing because those same NFDA fat cats not only look at a family and ask for $4200 for a direct cremation, but put the body in a used air tray.

If anyone needs me i’ll be in the corner playing with my laughing stick singing cum by ya.

When contacted for comment, Michelle responded with the following: 

Well, who ever you are, commenter, you clearly must know me personally.  That surprises me, since I’ve had the good fortune of working with some wonderful individuals so far in my career.  If you have an issue, or feel like I’ve slighted you in some way, please contact me directly at Michelle dot Carter at gmail dot com, so we can resolve it professionally and privately.

In response to your comments, let me assure you that everything I do is well above board.  I’ve had several conversations with Ms. Orecki to be sure the I’s are dotted and the T’s are crossed.  I didn’t go into the minutia of how I operate for this guest blog, for the sake of brevity, and because I didn’t think it would interest Tim’s readers.  (For those readers not in New York, Deborah Orecki is the head of the Bureau of Funeral Directing, a division of the NYS Department of Health, which regulates the funeral industry.)

Technically, whichever funeral home the family chooses to work through is the one that ‘gets’ the call.  I work as an independent contractor or agent, much like your trade embalmer or part-time outside help.  At the end of the year, I file a 1099 just like they would.   My families do get a GPL, Statement of Goods and Services Selected, and Customer’s Designation of Intentions Form from the funeral home just like they would with any funeral.  It’s not much different from hiring someone on a temporary basis to keep an eye on things while you’re on vacation, or handle an out-of-town call for you.

It’s a win/win situation.  My families have me involved in the funeral process, creating the service they desire, and the funeral home gets revenue with substantially less work on their end.  I haven’t had any issues with it so far.  After all, the fact is that someone is going to handle that funeral.  Would you rather have that revenue yourself, or have it go to the guy down the street?

It’s also prudent to point out that grief counseling is not regulated by Ms. Orecki’s office, and one does not need a funeral home registration to provide those services.  Very few certified grief counselors are also funeral directors.

Yes, I do give clients my cell phone number, which rings to a redundant land line so there’s no chance of going to voicemail.  If a family calls me at 2 in the morning, they don’t tell an answering service their loved one died, they speak to me directly.  I don’t know of many other funeral directors who could say the same thing.

And yes, I do have the same last name as a pair of funeral homes in the area. I’ve actually found that to be more of a liability than an asset.  I have no desire to be affiliated with a large corporation, or to be perceived that way, and I make that very clear to anyone I come in contact with.   That said, I can’t change my name or my hometown, and I think most people are smart enough to make the distinction between the two.  It’s been more than a decade since anyone in my family has been affiliated with that firm, so I think people have caught on by now.   I should point out that all of my clients so far have chosen to work with the independent firms in the area.

And finally, in response to your comment about call volume going down:  There certainly are firms in this area that are handling fewer calls than they have in years past.  There are also firms who have experienced an up tick in call volume.  I would attribute this to two things.  First, a large segment of the population in this neck of the woods are relocating to the warmer climates of South Carolina, Florida, Arizona, etc., and subsequently dying there.  Second, I think consumers are more savvy these days. If they’re unhappy or not completely satisfied, I think they’re more willing to bring their business elsewhere these days than they were in years past.  I hardly think this is a situation that is unique to the Metro New York area.

Anyway, the point of my last post was that we, as an industry, are being given a great tool to help shape and change the public’s perceptions of who we are and what we do.  The documentary The Undertaking featuring Thomas Lynch airs tonight on PBS.  For it to have the impact it should, we need to work together.  It will benefit all of us.

And this is the part where I comment.

To my anonymous reader, I can only offer my sincere condolences on what has to be a pretty bad situation.  You are clearly perturbed about something.  Somehow I doubt you’d be so bold with your rude remarks in a more public setting or a place where your identity could not be so easily masked.

I’m not a fan of ad hominem attacks (the kind where a person’s name is attacked, rather than their actions) and I don’t allow them on the blog.  How do I do that?  By moderating comments and only allowing those that are relevant to the discussion.

So why did I print this one?  Because in between all the rude personal cutdowns is also an important question:  how can Michelle serve families without operating a funeral home.  I think she’s answered that sufficiently.  If anyone refutes her assertion that she operates within the law of New York State, please, let me know.

If you choose to comment on the blog, make sure you include your email address so I can converse with you.  I’d love to have a more accurate account of our anonymous reader’s issues with Michelle, but I can’t, because he/she chose to purposefully mask his/her identity.

I strongly support the rights of my readers to share their opinions, not only when the fit with what I or another columnist has written, but especially when they offer an opposing viewpoint.  Unfortunately, taking a rude tone, referring to the writer’s work as “stupidity” and demeaning a female writer by calling her “sweety” will lead me to believe that the complainer is actually the one with a defect.