In addition to the blog, my company (selling cot covers!), preparations for the Georgia Expo next week and all the plans for the 126th Annual GeorgeFest in my little town, I’ve also been prepping a display for the Eustis Historical Museum and Preservation Society.

Headquartered in a turn-of-the-century house built by one of the town’s fathers, the Eustis Historical Museum gathers memorabilia and artifacts from the 126+ years of our area’s history and presents it throughout rooms in the spacious home.

I was recently elected the 1st Vice President of the society (I wasn’t busy enough, I guess) and I spent a few hours talking with my fellow officers about future plans.  We’re testing out one of those plans here, by letting the fire department – something I know well – become the first “swing exhibit” at the museum. 

If this display, which is tucked into a back room, does well, we have plans to kick off June with an exhibit of local wedding dresses throughout history, complete with days where locals can renew their wedding vows in the Unity Bell Clifford Gazebo (on the grounds) or in the front parlor.

We’ll host an “opening” for the fire dept. exhibit in a few weeks.  If you’re in town, I hope to see you there!

I just finished reading an interesting article about a funeral home in Minnesota and the effect that cremation is having on their business.  You can read the full article on the Minnesota Public Radio website here.

While the article touches on how many people are choosing cremation because of new economic realities and the way the funeral director they’ve interviewed is weathering the downturn, the article fails to discuss the long-term ramifications for the industry.

I believe that cremation is a game-changer for the traditional funeral industry and that many firms will have to re-think their entire pricing models to make their businesses operate on cremation income.

Traditional burial is called by its name because that’s what drives it:  tradition.  Other than those who fear fire, most people aren’t afraid of cremation as an option; they simply choose burial because “that’s what the family’s always done.”

So what happens when grandma can’t afford a big funeral and there’s a choice to be made?  What happens to the “tradition” when the patriarch or matriarch of a large family decides, for economic reasons, to choose cremation?

In my experience, “grandma’s getting cremated” means everyone else in the family is now free to be cremated.  Cousins start asking the cemetery how many sets of cremated remains can be buried in a space in the family plot.  At the memorial service, family begins discussing how much easier it was to plan a cremation (and cheaper) and, if you’re invited, you’ll hear five people say how much they’d rather have a party than a funeral.

While I don’t advocate battling cremation, I do think we, as an industry, have to realize that consumers are seeing the benefits of cremation, benefits to their wallets and their families, and they’re making the easy, less-expensive choice.

The current economy just gives them another excuse to make the decision sooner.

What are we doing to show our relevance to grieving families?  Does our community know that cremation isn’t just direct?  Do your neighbors and friends know that cremation is just a cheaper disposition than burial, not a completely new thing?  Do they know that you can still provide them with viewing, services and closure?

From our friends at Kates-Boylston Publications:

Funeral Service Insider’s Annual Compensation and Casket Surveys Now Open

WALL, N.J. – Funeral Service Insider recently opened its annual compensation and casket surveys, and the publication is asking funeral home owners and funeral directors to take some time to fill them out.

“Our Casket Survey and Compensation Survey issues are two of our most popular issues,” said the newsletter’s executive editor, Thomas A. Parmalee. “Given the downturn in the economy, funeral service professionals are especially interested this year to find out how casket sales and pay levels are being affected. The more responses we get, the better.”

While answers from the survey are tabulated to help portray what’s going on in funeral service, no one is quoted by name unless they give the editor their permission.

To complete the Annual Compensation Survey, please visit http://tinyurl.com/dzruo8

To complete the Annual Casket Survey, please visit http://tinyurl.com/8z3vuu

To view a sample issue of Funeral Service Insider,
visit www.katesboylston.com/fsi or call 800-500-4585 to subscribe.

Every year, my friend Carla Mitchell goads me into driving a car in the African-American Heritage Parade.  In 2007 and 2008, I drove my own convertible.  But since I sold it last year, I had to borrow this beautiful Mercedes-Benz to make the trip.

Riding with me are Patricia Moore (left) and Miss Eula Belle Douglas (right).

Patricia is one of the three founding members of the Eustis African-American Heritage Festival.  Against the protests of the other two founders, she pushed hard for the inclusion of a kick-0ff parade.  After they dropped their resistance, the parade made it’s debut and has been a fitting beginning to a day full of music, food and fellowship for the past 15 years.

This year, Patricia withdrew from helping with the festivities because she’s battling cancer.  A hospice nurse by training, Patricia knows all too well how important it is for her to spend time with her family and friends, as her diagnosis is terminal.

Without her knowledge, the committee made her the grand marshal and sprung it on her at the last minute. 

The night before the parade, the committee held the annual Black Achievers Banquet and honored 12 area African-Americans for their efforts to better themselves and their community.

Ms. Eula Belle Douglas, known around town and “Godmomma” for the number of children she either raised or babysat in over 53 years in Eustis, was one of the honorees and rode in my car with Ms. Moore.

I enjoy driving in the parade and seeing all the excited children, eagerly anticipating candy and the festival to follow.

Plus, the food at the festival is AWESOME!!!

A provincial goverment press release from Nova Scotia, Canada:

A change to provincial regulations for vehicle warning lights will allow the lead car in a funeral procession to use a purple flashing or revolving light on a highway.

“The regulations were amended in response to requests from funeral directors to have purple lights on the lead vehicle in a funeral procession to alert other drivers to the presence of the procession,” said Brooke Taylor, Minister of Transportation and Infrastructure Renewal.

While drivers in a funeral procession traditionally turned on headlights to differentiate the procession from other highway traffic, this practice is less effective with the widespread use of daytime running lights.

The rules in the Motor Vehicle Act for funeral processions have not changed and apply whether or not the lead vehicle has a purple light. Drivers are prohibited from interrupting the funeral vehicles by driving through or into the procession, except at a traffic signal.

An increasing number of provinces allow funeral procession vehicles to display flashing purple lights and use is relatively widespread in the United States.

The amendments support government’s priority to keep communities safe.

     A change to provincial regulations for vehicle warning

lights will allow the lead car in a funeral procession to use a

purple flashing or revolving light on a highway.

     Transportation and Infrastructure Renewal Minister Brooke

Taylor says the regulations were amended in response to requests

from funeral directors to have purple lights on the lead vehicle

in a funeral procession to alert other drivers to the presence of

the procession.

     An increasing number of provinces allow funeral procession

vehicles to display flashing purple lights and use is relatively

widespread in the United States.

Media Contact: Lindsay Mills
              Transportation and Infrastructure Renewal
              902-424-3289
              E-mail: millsle@gov.ns.ca

One of my customers and a faithful blog reader, Jodi Clock, cornered me at the 2008 NFDA Convention and told me I had to make a pet removal cot cover, so long as I made her one first.

Well, Jodi, here’s the fabric I’ve found so far:

I think it’s appropriate for most pets, like dogs and cats.  Might even work for a badger, squirrel or ferret.  I like the dark blue background, as it will ward off stains and dirty handprints.  What do you think?

Anyone else doing enough pet funeral business that they need a cover for those clients?

I’ve promised Jodi first dibs, so if she wants one with this fabric, we’ll make hers first and start on the rest later.  I’m thinking of offering this pattern with a sheet made from our FluidBlocker lining fabric to place over the cot pad.  Of course, that’s just an initial reaction.  What features do you think would be important for a pet removal cover?

I was just re-reading some old personal blog posts I wrote around the time I started Final Embrace for the funeral industry and found this interesting tidbit about podcasts:

Prior to the 2008 NFDA Convention, I consulted for several companies that would be making their first showing at the expo.

Among them was a well-funded startup, called Eternal Space.  For two months before the show, we had weekly, hour-plus phone consultations to discuss how they’d interact with funeral directors (they’re new to our industry) and how to present their unique product to a skeptical or un-informed public.

In the course of our conversations, I worked to get the guys from Eternal Space (Jay and Dave) to whittle the explanation of their product to one or two short sentences.  Here’s what I finally settled on:

Eternal Space is the online equivalent of the world’s largest and most inclusive resting place that is accessible from anywhere in the world.  While it can feature traditional cemetery components like headstones, trees and flower arrangements, Eternal Space is ultimately customizable, with spaces as diverse as beaches, mountainsides and meadows and almost any memorial feature you can imagine.

In theory (the site launches later this month), families pay a small fee to own an Eternal Space from their loved one.  Visitors can plant trees (that will grow over time!) leave gifts of flowers and other items and sign a virtual guest book.  Each Eternal Space features a large virtual memory book for photos, videos and condolences.

Eternal Space hit the 2008 convention hard and rolled out a 20′x40′ booth with bright white carpet and awesome graphic elements to reinforce the theme of modern, sleek and well-designed.  Their space was just across the aisle from our CotCovers.com booth, so I got to listen to their video presentation for four days!  (No complaints here, Jay.  The video was professional and adequately communicated your product offerings.)

Their initial traffic was slow, as funeral directors tried to figure out who these news guys were.  Competitors began paying attention and sneaking over to get a peek.

By the third day, they were having regular in-booth meetings with big name family funeral homes (I’m talking 5-10 location family groups) and getting people interested in their product.

During our consulting sessions we had discussed setting a realistic goal for leads generated by the show.  They surpassed that goal by the beginning of the first day and won the “best new exhibitor” people’s choice prize before the show ended.

I’d talk more about the website now, but we’re all still waiting for them to roll out the full product.  In the meantime, you can visit their site at www.EternalSpace.com and enroll for updates.  You can also play with the “scene selector” to see a few of the memorial landscapes they have planned and watch a video that explains how your firm can make money offering Eternal Spaces to your clients.

And while I do some paid consulting work for Eternal Space, this article is NOT part of the pay agreement and my opinion hasn’t been bought.  When their site goes live, I’ll bring you a more in-depth review and show you some of the cool features!

I won’t take a long to time to explain Twitter to everyone – if you already use it, you know how it works – so I’ll just tell you that we’re on it and you can follow us.

I like Twitter because the 140 character limit for posts keeps me succint.  And I can “twitter” from my phone. 

To follow me, click “find people” and enter ”finalembrace” in the “find on Twitter” section.

You can also see who I’m following and who follows me.

I set up an application on my iPhone that let’s me see all my Twitter friends and get updates when they post something new.

Try it out!  You might like it.

Since we got serious about selling our products at various expo’s around the country, I’ve been looking for a vehicle that can hold everything we take to conventions, including our shelving unit, over 50 sample covers, a computer, luggage and more.

Thing is, it had to be stylish, utilitarian AND cheap.

Here’s what I found, for less than $10,000:

It’s a 2004 Cadillac SRX.  It’s got a HUGE sunroof (over 3′ long!), a even bigger cargo area and lotsa other bells and whistles.

I especially appreciated the heated seats this morning.

We’ll use this beauty to travel the country, visiting at least four or five trade shows every year, selling our quilted cot covers (check out the redesigned site at www.cotcovers.com).

Next stop?  The Georgia Expo, co-sponsored by the GFDA and the IFDG, starting March 2nd.

In an interview with Sporting News, former UCLA basketball coach John Wooden quotes a poem written by Sven Nader after hearing Wooden talk of “yonder”.

Obstensibly, the poem speaks of the afterlife, but for Wooden, the “yonder” of the last stanza refers to his wife, Nell, who died in 1985.  Still very much in love with the girl who enchanted him for 53 years, Wooden writes a letter to his bride every month.  The house looks the same as when she left:  her dressing gown is still stretched over her side of the bed, her lipstick on the vanity.

At 98, Wooden speaks in the interview of his intense longing to be with his wife.  

I wish it would happen how.  But I’m not going to try to hurry it… I’m thankful for so many things.  My children, my 13 great-grandchildren, all live within an hour or less, and I see them all regularly.

Within an hour or two, I can see the ocean, I can be in the mountains, I can be in the desert, I can be at Disneyland, I can be at an athletic event.  There are so many things.  I have been so blessed.  And out yonder, I’ll be with Nellie again.

Here’s the poem, by Sven Nader:

Once I was afraid of dying,
terrified of ever-lying,
petrified of leaving family, home and friends.

Thoughts of absence from my dear ones,
brought a melancholy tear once,
and a dredful fear of when life ends.

But those days are long behind me,
fear of leaving does not bind me,
and departure does not hold a single care.

Peace does comfort as I ponder,
a reunion in the yonder,
with my dearest one who is waiting for me there.

A recent reader, Cathy, had a response to my post, Generating Cold Leads for Pre-Need Sales:

I’m glad that you made a differentiation between the “sharks” and the “Nice Guys” because I’m one of the latter ones. I work for the three letter company you mention and it has become increasingly difficult for me to make a living wage.

I pride myself in taking excellent care of the families I serve and do not… indeed, will not pressure them into anything. I merely offer options and let them choose based upon their wishes and budget.

Because I refuse to be “that” person, I may be looking for a different career.

I was intrigued, because the “nice guy” preneed salespeople don’t last long, it seems, and she’s kinda reinforced that in her last line.

So I visited her blog and read some more of what she has to say about her career.  Sprinkled among articles about low-carb foods (her blog is about her journey as a cemetarian and low carb devotee) are posts about what life as a pre-need counselor is like.

I’ve read most of her recent posts and I find her to be literate and extremely passionate about her job.  I wonder if she’s considered going to mortuary school?

You should check out her blog.

I was hoping to make this post bright and cheerful, since we’re launching the updated version of our COT COVER website, but, rather than putting lots of effort behind tweaking every corner of our beautiful new layout, I’ve been making phone calls and arrangements to help my family during a difficult time.

Seems my dad’s stepbrother, Kenny, was discovered unconscious yesterday by his wife.  She works an overnight detail for Darden restaurants, handing translation for their properties around the world and is needed at very early and late hours.

When she returned home to wake up her family and get her daughter ready for school, she found her husband unresponsive.

Rushed to the hospital by ambulance, he was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and hooked up to life support systems.  He remained in a coma while his wife, my step-aunt-in-law (?) talked with doctors and assessed how his living will would affect treatment.

After discussing his prognosis – grim, at best – the decision was made to honor his living will and remove life support.  The tubes and machines were removed at 8:00 pm last night.

He stopped breathing at 9:00 am this morning.

The funeral services will mirror those we held for his father, Ronald Skipper, last year, who I described in the post, A Death in the Family: Part 1.

My uncle, Kenneth Skipper, served in the United States Air Force (just like his dad), married a woman from Spain and had a beautiful daughter, Sarah.  After he left the military, he made commercials for a local TV station.

A funny, dashing guy, Kenny was sidelined in recent years by a terrible back injury.  Complications forced him to stop working because of the long-term disability.

Lately, I’d only seen Kenny at family events – Christmas, family birthday gatherings – so my interactions were minimal.  But I know he was kind because I saw how gingerly and reverently he treated his daughter.  He was quick with a smile and a hug. 

I talk a lot, here, about the logistics of death – how we help families, how we reach families – but the philosophy of death isn’t something I think about too often. 

I’ve chronicled the death of at least three of the WWII-generation members of my family.  The grandparents are dying and my younger brain says “hey, they’re supposed to die.  That’s the way it works.”

But now it’s the generation just ahead of me.

I think when I see my dad this week, I’ll hug him just a little longer.

By the way, don’t forget to check out our redesigned site, www.cotcovers.com.  It’s not done yet, but I’m proud of what we’ve got so far.  In the next few weeks, I’ll be adding video tutorials and the ability to order online.

This is a limited time thing, so if you want one, skip right over to Buy.com and get it ASAP!

The Flip video camera Ultra model is on sale at Buy.com for just $89.  That’s about 1/2 the price of a new one.  The catch?  They’re refurbished.

Still, if you want to play with one of these cameras but don’t want to invest over $100, why not consider a refurb?  The company guarantees them just like a new one.

This is the same camera that I use to make videos that I’ve featured in posts like:

Where’s Tim? January 2009 Edition
Christmas 2008 in Eustis
Wanna Know More About How We Make Cot Covers?
2008 NFDA Convention: Final Reflection
2008 NFDA Convention: Sportsman Urns
2008 NFDA Convention: Customer Testimonial

The local news station is running a contest called “Friday Salute,” where they reward a local police or fire department with breakfast and an on-air salute.

My fire department, Eustis, is nominated this week.

The voting process is a little convoluted – you have to enter a bunch of info and make sure you check “no” if you don’t want to receive other emails from them – but the reward is kinda awesome for my firefighters.

So I’m asking everyone I know to vote.  I registered, checked no, and I have yet to receive a single spam email from them.

If you can support my firefighters, click the link below and vote for the Eustis Fire Department.  Voting ends tomorrow morning, I think.

Photo by Flickr user Senli

Remember the phrase, “keeping up with the Joneses”?

Seems our current economic condition has many people rethinking the “spend-with-abandon” philosophy that had seemed to be engulfing our culture.

And while I can hardly believe that Americans will never, ever again try to outspend each other for social standing, I know that we’re entering an era where people will, at least, think twice before they make big purchases.

I can’t help wondering how this will affect “traditional” funeral homes.  That’s the unfortunate part.  The better part is all the opportunities this presents for funeral homes that are already listening to what consumers want and offering them services tailored to their needs and ability to pay.

I’m sure there are funeral homes out there who are still serving a traditional clientele and will feel the pinch as those folks who want “the same service we had for dad 20 years ago” become more introspective about their funeral plans and look for options that fit their new reality.  And what happens to prestige funeral homes that are used to selling a well-known name and their standing in the community?

Recent reports show that luxury brands (and prestige or reputation funeral homes are just that) are feeling the heat from the economic meltdown.  That doesn’t take into account the number of mid-level and entry products makers finding few buyers for their offerings.

Which brings us back to the amazing opportunities I see for the industry.

For years people have been telling us they want to “have a party” or “spend the money on my kids, not a casket” and we’ve responded with interchangeable cap panels and colorful register books.  Some of us added butterfly releases or personalized memorial videos, in an effort to meet the new “personalization” trend.

So many of these answers were really just shots in the dark, hoping to hit the crazy, moving target that is the American funeral consciousness.

We have the chance, now that consumers are more likely to buy only what they need or truly want, to find out what the modern American funeral really means to today’s client family.