September 27, 2007
Are you “making do” with junk tools? Maybe you’ve cobbled together an old van and a worn-out stretcher (that only works half the time) to keep your removal service running.
Word to the wise: unless you’re selling rock-bottom prices, people expect to get what they pay for. And frankly, bad tools are dangerous – for you, your workers and your customers.
July 11, 2007
It’s very exciting to get your funeral director’s license. Unless you’re in Colorado – I don’t know what you folks do.
Most states probably make you attach a picture of your freshly-scrubbed, innocent and wide-eyed face and hang the license in a prominent place near the entrance of your funeral home so that everyone can see who is licensed to work in the facility. (And don’t get a mugshot like this guy – that’s Chapman, who shot John Lennon!)
But years go by and you get older, while the fresh-faced, deer-caught-in-the-headlights newbie in the picture stays the same.
Heck, your picture might be so old that your hairstyle has gone out of style and come back into style in the meantime.
So today’s Daily Nag is simple: Change that picture!
People enter your firm everyday. And while you’ve seen that picture approximately 6,000 times, your clients may very well be seeing it for the first time. Don’t let them see the “fade” haircut you had in 1984 or the wide lapels of your leisure suit.
Look like the times you serve. And change that picture at least once a year.
Imagine that Wilson Phillips singer Carnie Wilson was a funeral director? Her license would still have a picture like this:
Although now she looks like this:
June 20, 2007
Roadway photos courtesy of Daily Cognition
Take a look at the traffic nightmare above. Imagine navigating this unfamiliar road system without directions. Locals might tell you how easy it is, once you understand the framework and the basic rules. But you’re just passing through town and don’t have months to learn the system.
But imagine now that you could hire a ‘guide’ when you entered this maze and pay him/her to escort you through the difficult maze until you found your way to the other side.
This is the dilemma a consumer faces when a family member dies. And you are the guide.
Funeral directors who claim that families know what they want and how they want it to be done and won’t accept any suggestions are missing the point.
When you enter the plate of spaghetti that is a highway interchange, you know where you want to go. You may even have a dim idea of how to get there. And while you might think a simple left turn is in order, you might find a situation like this one:
To turn from Rosanov Street to Khoroshev Street in Moscow you have to make the journey indicated in red.
The same is often true for funeral service. And families have no idea of state statutes or basic rules of etiquette that you deal with on a daily basis. It is your job to guide them.
But even funeral directors who understand their role as ‘director’ and ‘guide’ too often forget that most families have never “been this way before.”
So you have to explain why you’re taking certain steps. You have to be aware that they need extra reassurance.
Because even though you’ve buried ten beloved grandfathers this month, your client family will only bury Grandpa Jones once.
People are more comfortable when they know what’s coming and what to expect. So don’t let your families continue on a confusing journey. Offer to be a guide and point the way to where they want to go.
They’ll thank you for it.
June 9, 2007
I met a lot of people at the IFDF Convention and I noticed one disturbing fact: people are afraid to make eye contact.
And these weren’t people on the street, minding their own business. These were convention attendees who had entered the exhibit hall and were browsing the products and services being presented. They were there to find the greatest new product or that one service that will help make their funeral home wildly successful and beautifully profitable.
And yet they walked around with their hands in their pockets (or folded in a defensive posture) and avoided eye contact because that initial moment of introduction is so hard to initiate.
So my nag for today is MAKE EYE CONTACT.
Show some “love.” Smile. Connect with people in public by chuckling if something funny happens or offering to open a door at the post office for that guy who’s carrying five oversized packages.
ABOVE: Dr. Andre Campbell shares a laugh with the gray-headed guy on an elevator.
Notice all the glum faces around him. (photo courtesy of SFGate.com)
Amazing things happen when you make a connection with someone in public. Quiet subway cars full of serious people turn into conversation areas if you’re just willing to make eye contact and say a pleasant word.
A quick joke in a stalled grocery store line can make an unappealing wait slightly more bearable. People open up when they know you’re friendly. Their guarded stance and wary looks turn completely around when they know that you’re a “nice guy.”
If you’ve listened to our other Daily Nags (Wear Your Nametag! and Shake Hands) you’ll also be adding to your firm’s reputation. Acts of kindness and humorous grocery store outings are so frequent that that person whose day you’ve brightened will remember you and, if he/she has stolen a look at your nametag, will remember your firm for your kindness.
Is it hard to do this? Possibly – if you’re a shy person or are worried about the response you’ll receive. But the negative responses are so infrequent that I gladly take them because I know that for every ho-hum reaction I’ll get fifteen or twenty smiles and giggles.
I like smiles and giggles. They make my day brighter and the next time I see that person, they reflexively treat me better.
PAST DAILY NAGS:
June 1, 2007
Before any longtime smokers throw their keyboards in disgust and stomp outside for a smoke, I should tell you that I smoked for 8+ years.
Even when I was a smoker, I still got disgusted when our removal service sent us that one driver who chainsmoked in the van.
It got so bad that families would spend the first ten or fifteen minutes of the arrangement conference complaining about how bad the smell of the removal service worker was.
If you smoke, you might not be aware of how pervasive the smell can be. If you smoke in the removal vehicle, the cot cover will absorb the smell.
Do yourself a favor. Stop smoking in your company vehicles. If your cot cover smells, wash it. Better yet, buy a new quilted cot cover from us. In all likelihood, your current cover doesn’t have a great protective lining, likes ours do. So you’ll be replacing the cover with a safer, more attractive alternative.
RELATED DAILY NAGS:
April 17, 2007
Yesterday, April 16, 2007, a gunman killed 32 people at Virginia Tech before turning the gun on himself.
As funeral professionals, it is so easy to immediate spring to action, considering the necessary steps to serve such families during such a catastrophe.
Remember to take a moment this week, to consider first your basic human reaction. Too often, funeral professionals forget to allow themselves to grieve along with the community. We resolve to stay focused on the families we serve, rather than kneeling beside them and crying out our grief with theirs.
You’re human, too. Don’t forget it.
Further admonishments can be found in our Podcast: Funeral Directors… Don’t Forget to Grieve.
April 16, 2007
As much as wearing a nametag or driving a marked car, shaking hands while maintaining eye contact will make a positive impression on anyone you meet.
Just remember, dead fish handshakes and too-firm handshakes are bad. Keep your hand relatively firm, shake two or three times and smile.
Shaking hands sets the other person at ease.
April 16, 2007
Don’t fall into the trap of letting your pre-need slide. Yes, it’s easier to serve at-need families and hope your pre-need program takes care of itself.
But serving the community means connecting with and meeting the needs of the still-living and not-yet-grieving as well as those experiencing a death.
So eat your veggies and stop neglecting your pre-need!
March 20, 2007
You need to recharge your personal “batteries” every now and then. And for that reason, today’s nag is simple:
TAKE TIME OFF!
You can’t work every weekend. And you can’t work every visitation. If you’re currently working more than 70 hours a week, you need a vacation!
Re-introduce yourself to your family. You might be surprised how much the kids have grown while you weren’t looking.
March 19, 2007
I’ll make this one short.
Part-time workers are cheap. They don’t require full-time benefits and they don’t get paid much.
And if you hire some retired folks who don’t care too much about the pay, they won’t get upset if you only give them five hours this week and ten the next.
Part-timers can fill in for your full-time staff associates (so Jim won’t feel so guilty for taking time off for his kid’s school play) and are great ambassadors to your community.
The best way to get into new pockets of your community is to employ insiders.
Want to attract more Hindu funerals? Hire someone from the Hindu community.
Want to start serving the local Catholic church? Hire a few influential members.
Of course, you’ll need some skill at attracting workers. You might have to mention to the priest that you’re looking to hire a part-time worker to assist at visitations. Maybe he can recommend someone?
And if you find someone working at a local grocery store or at the diner who gives really great service and is polite, why not suggest a career in funeral service? That high school student bagging groceries for $7 an hour might appreciate a job with your funeral home on weekends. He can wash cars, assist with removals and do computer work (most kids are proficient now-a-days).
And who knows? You might just discover the next star funeral director.
So today’s daily nag is simple: HIRE SOME PART-TIMERS!
March 13, 2007
I’m sure you were used to hearing this as a child, but for all the adults that seem to forget it, here’s the DAILY NAG: Mind Your Manners!
This means you say “please” and “thank you.” When you come to a door, hold it open for others. And if someone opens the door for you, say “thank you.”
Why is this important? Not only does it maintain (or rehabilitate, if you’ve been rude) your image as a caring person, it’ll also surprise some folks who thought good manners had been buried years ago.
Of course, this means you can’t make any rude gestures in traffic, no matter how stupid the numbskull is that cuts you off. And it means you’ve got to let the lady with two items go ahead of you in the line at the Piggly-Wiggly.
Whats more, being nice to people will make YOU feel better.
Trust me. Would I lie to you? Now don’t answer with food in your mouth…
March 12, 2007
Lots of people (yourself included, probably) use caffeine to relieve physical stress. A cup of coffee can focus the mind, both spiritually (the coffee ritual has potent rules and practices) and physically.
DAILY NAG: Brew some coffee for your guests.
Many funeral homes invite folks into their (funeral) homes to make intimate arrangements but offer no refreshments.
Would you invite these same people into your personal home without offering at least something for them to drink, if not a full meal?
Stop complaining that you can’t afford it or that you don’t want to clean up coffee messes. It’s part of doing business.
March 8, 2007
“Out of sight, out of mind” my grandfather used to say. Of course, he was blind and crazy, but….
THE DAILY NAG: Don’t Trust Your Answering Service!
Ronald Reagan was asked about his policy for dealing with the “evil empire” and he answered “Trust, but verify.” That’s a good way to treat your answering service.
Why? Because your answering service is often the frontline to your customers. You can’t afford for them to treat your clients and potential clients with any disrespect.
What can you do? Pose as a customer and call them. Do it at a busy time, so you see how they’re treating people during a rush.
Better yet, have someone else call while you’re on the phone with them. See how they handle several calls at the same time.
You owe it to your clients to make sure your off-hour representatives are professional and treat your customers with respect.
March 5, 2007
Families looking for cremation services are not the enemy. They don’t support another candidate. They don’t hate your religion and they aren’t trying to sell your kids drugs.
They just want something different than traditional burial.
DAILY NAG: Stop Badgering and Mistreating Cremation Families!
Most of them don’t know that cremation can be more than immediate. Most have no idea that cremation can be preceded by a viewing a full service with the body present.
And they’ll never know if you recoil in horror everytime someone mentions cremation. STOP DOING THAT!
If you don’t want to serve cremation families, make that point clear in your advertising and at the beginning of every conversation with a family asking about cremation.
If you hate handling direct cremations, make sure your price for cremation is sufficient to deter price shoppers from darkening your doorstep. And let families know that all cremations handled by your firm include provisions for viewing and services.
Whichever way you choose to handle your dislike of cremation, make sure your clients and community don’t see you campaigning. While some in the industry are good at stirring up oposition to cremation, your community doesn’t care.
They just want what’s best for their family.
March 4, 2007
There’s little worse than having an unplanned automobile issue when you’re conducting a funeral, hence today’s daily nag:
BE PREPARED FOR AUTOMOBILE EMERGENCIES
This means each of your vehicles should be equipped with the following:
I found this great collapsible can at Genuine Hot Rod for only $8.95.
February 28, 2007
Here’s a fact you’ve probably forgotten: People get nervous when they have to address someone they don’t know.
BUT… if the person being addressed is wearing a nametag, the nervous person feels more at ease because they already know something about the wearer.
This applies to funeral homes, as well.
So today’s daily nag is: WEAR YOUR NAME TAG!
And not just in the funeral home, although you should wear it so that families and visitors will be able to identify members of the funeral home staff.
But you should wear it in public so that your community knows who you are.
“But people will talk about me!” you claim. Of course they will! That’s the point.
Stop being so worried that people will know you work in a funeral home. A lot of people already know. Those people who duck their heads and whisper when you enter a restaurant? They’re telling their guests that you’re an undertaker. And you had better believe that your kid tells everyone at school what you do for a living. “My mom touches dead bodies!” is worth six months of cool, at least.
You should wear your nametag in public because 1) you shouldn’t feel ashamed about being a funeral professional and 2) you’ll get business because of it.
“You’re kidding! I’ll get business just from wearing a name tag?” you ask.
Yes! Have you ever noticed how seldom people talk to each other in public lines? Waiting at the grocery store, standing in line at the post office, in the doctor’s waiting room. Wherever we congregate unwillingly, we keep our traps shut.
But then something magical happens: someone helps a person by opening a door or lifting a package and it’s suddenly “old home week.”
That’s because people need icebreakers. They need someone else to start the conversation. They need to be introduced to you.
Nametags have the power to “introduce.”
I worked with a pre-need salesman who sold all his contracts to people he met at McDonald’s during breakfast. He’d put on his suit, tack on his nametag and stand in the longest line at McDonald’s. When people saw his nametag, they’d comment to a friend or ask him a question. Invariably, he’d have a few people asking him about the funeral home/cemetery where he worked and about planning funerals in advance.
He used to go in the later morning, right after the working people had finished buying their coffee. He’d leave our office at 9:30 am and head out to meet with the seniors who gathered at the restaurant. If no one talked to him, he’d introduce himself.
He’s retired now. Made a lot of money. And every penny came from contacts he made in McDonald’s.
February 28, 2007
All right, I’ll admit it: your mother probably wouldn’t care about this one, but I do.
STOP SKIMPING!
At least, stop skimping on the stuff families see. If you want to use a cheaper embalming fluid, I don’t care, as long as the results are the same. If you want to buy cheaper pens for your staff to use for office work, go ahead!
But you’ve got to stop skimping when it comes to the things your families see during the removal, the arrangement conference, the visitation and the funeral.
Why? Because unless you’re selling low prices, you should justify that big amount at the bottom of the contract. If you’re selling a great experience or your firm’s wonderful reputation, you’d better not put items (or employees, for that matter) of low caliber in front of them. It’s just tacky. Not to mention rude.
Trying to save money by using 1-ply toilet paper in your public restrooms? Congratulations, you’ve sacrificed your reputation and the comfort of your guests for $1.50 a month.
Hoping to get another year or two out of that 1989 hearse? Good luck convincing your community that you’re the most progressive and comfortable funeral home in town.
Saving some money by getting an untrained, unpleasant person to stand at visitations? For a dollar or two more per hour (roughly $12 in salary, taxes and other contributions for a 4-hour viewing) you could have hired a part-timer who’s actually involved in the community, like the mayor’s husband or a local minister’s wife. Instead, Jethro is going to flick the lights and badger people at 9:02 pm because he’s in a hurry to get home to watch the Grand Ole Opry. (My apologies to upstanding Jethro’s and Opry fans everywhere.)
Sometimes, saving money costs you much more. It can cost you your reputation and your livelihood. So stop it! At least where it’s noticable.
February 26, 2007
How long does it take to say thank you in person? One second? Two at the most, right?
That’s why verbal “thank you”s, offered at the time of the courtesy, are so often forgotten or dismissed as a reflex.
When someone does something nice for you, you should respond with an appropriate card, sent via mail carrier.
Thank you notes are also an effective way to be remembered by members of your community. It is even more effective if the kindness you’re thanking the person for is rather simple or was easy for them to provide. The thank you card will then seem less like an obligation and more like sincere gratitude.
I keep a stack of thank you cards right next to my computer. Since I sit down to write here everyday, I am thinking about my day while I stare at the monitor. Make sure you put a stack of thank you cards (and postage!) in a conspicuous place so you’ll remember to use them.
SPECIAL NOTE: If you’ve experience a kindness for which etiquette dictates a thank you card (wedding, baby shower, birthday gift) make sure you send the card in a timely manner. A friend of mine recently gave a very nice gift to good friends for their wedding. When the card arrived six months later, he was more offended than he was before he received the card. So be warned: a late card is WORSE than no card at all.
February 22, 2007
We’ve just started a DAILY NAG, where we tell you to stop doing stupid things (like your mother would tell you.)
DAILY NAG #2: Stop saying “Good Morning.”
I used to work with the sweetest woman from the British Isles. She had a lovely voice and was well-coached in proper phone etiquette.
The only problem was this: she was coached to answer regular business phones.
Funeral homes have their own special phone etiquette challenges. I had trouble convincing her of this fact. She continued to answer “Good Morning, Smith Funeral Home, how may I assist you?” until one day when a distraught family member retorted “What’s go good about it? My mom just died.”
OUCH!!!!
Let’s not forget that our clients are usually not having a “Good Morning” so we must find another way to greet them.
“Hello” works pretty well. My personal telephone favorite is the one I used for the last five years.
“Thank you for calling Dobbs Funeral Home. My name is Tim. How can I help you?”
If that’s too long, find something shorter. But, for the love of all that is holy, don’t invite a negative response!
NAG OVER.
February 22, 2007
Since you’re too old to have your mother reminding you, I’ve decided to be the one who nags you every now and then.
But instead of reminding you to wear clean undergarments or telling you to wash behind your ears, I’m going to remind you to do some of the little things that you keep forgetting to do.
NAG #1: Clean up your removal vehicle!
No one likes a dirty car, except for lazy people. And no one wants to turn their loved one over to someone driving a dirty vehicle.
Most funeral professionals have eschewed the traditional hearse for removals. But that doesn’t mean you don’t need to keep your SUV, van or station wagon in topshape.
Most families won’t follow you all the way to the vehicle. But thosethat do will be appalled if the back of your Windstar is full of dirt, used gloves and soiled sheets. Get that junk cleaned up!
Also, make sure your removal vehicle is well-organized. This means everything gets a place and everything should be in its place. Make sure you have the right tools and equipment when you’re trying to assist a family.
Keeping your vehicle clean will also keep your mortuary cot and cot cover in good shape. While the quilted mortuary cot covers that our company makes (PLUG ALERT!: www.cotcovers.com) are available with CleanEdge™ Binding System to keep the lower edge pristine, many manufaturer’s covers are not. Don’t take a dirty cover into your clients’ homes. Ever!
NAG OVER.
